Revising the 1 Report Assignment

After reading Dr. Achibald's comments on my first draft, I knew I had my work cut out for me. Some comments were friendly reminders about steps that I overlooked, and one was actually a compliment on my opening paragraph. Nonetheless, my final draft has to show some marvelous improvement in order for me to feel satisfied about my overall report.

The opening paragraph can stay where it is and basically worded how it is, but I should really tweak the ending sentences in order to tie into my new format. This time around, I will definitely expand and draw examples from my document, "Dr. Lyte's Address to the Graduating Class." This includes painting a picture of who E. O. Lyte was, whether by sources on his accomplishments or on testimonies of his character. 

This is not enough, however, and I must take that background information and turn it into a helpful catalyst for my thesis statement. My thesis statement was that, “Not much has changed at our university even though the years have slipped away. Besides the obvious changes in politics, the economy, social conditions and technology the goals for teaching and learning have not been compromised. A prime example of the timelessness felt here at Millersville University is in the core value that has been passed down from generation to generation: Loyalty.” There must be evidence that my thesis is correct, and that will come from an additional about our current president, Dr. Francine McNairy. By making a connection between how presidents behaved in the past and how they do in the present age, I will cement the foundation of my point of view.

And of course I will follow every step this time. There will be an accurate word count on the bottom of the report, the spacing will be doubled, my works cited list will be complete, and my paper in its entirety will have closure to it by its concluding paragraph.